Every Princess Has A Secret
by SideshowJazz1
Summary: Princess Nancy has been locked in a tower with her sister Fiona for twelve years. She is rescued along with her sister, but her fairy tale isn't as normal as her sister's. Will she find her true love too?  Only covers first two movies  Please review
1. Chapter 1: Rescue

**My first Shrek story! I thought that Fiona seemed unusually good at socializing, so I created an explanation – an illegitimate sister that was locked up with her for all those years. This is the version of the first two movies (I'm not attempting the other two) through the eyes of Princess Nancy, Fiona's little sister. Please enjoy and review!**

_Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Far Far Away, lived a king and his queen, with two beautiful princesses. However, they were worried about both girls. The older one had an enchantment cast upon her, which caused her to become a monster by night, and her true form would only become constant when she had love's first kiss. The younger princess was an illegitimate child, as one of the guards had treated the queen disrespectfully. He had been fired, but the kingdom didn't believe in abortions. The king and queen sought the help of a Fairy Godmother, who decreed that both girls be locked away in a tower, guarded by a dragon. The older one would wait for her prince and true love's first kiss, while her sister would be accepted back as a true royal with her sister's marriage and rescue. The older girl, Princess Fiona, was six years old when she was first locked up, while her sister, Princess Nancy, was only five. However, they managed, and stayed locked up until one day, when Fiona was eighteen and Nancy seventeen..._

NANCY'S POV

The day started off pretty routinely. I was getting completely sick of my sister. Just because she was the oldest, she seemed to think she had the right to boss me around. I was seventeen, nearly an adult, and Fiona still thought she had the right to tell me what to do! We loved each other dearly, but seeing no one but your older sister and a couple of knights occasionally did get me sometimes. Anyway, Fiona told me when to get up, when everything happened, then insisted on "fixing my posture". "You're still a princess, Nance! You can't stand like that!"

Anyway, halfway through the grey morning, we heard a noise in the castle, and Fiona looked out the window. "Nancy, here's another brave knight!" she exclaimed.

"He's gotten further than the last." I commented. The last one had fallen into the lava on the rickety bridge. "Has the dragon gotten to him yet?" I didn't bother looking out the window, knowing that Fiona would tell me everything going on.

"Now it has." Fiona replied. "And...uh-oh! He's been sent flying. He'll crash through here any moment-" She was cut off by the roof breaking and a bulky figure with a helmet falling through.

"Act like a princess." Fiona whispered. "Copy me." I didn't mind playing the meek princess a little bit, but I wasn't looking forward to being a full-time princess when Fiona got married. Oh well, I'd just have to pretend I was playing.

So both of us lay flat on our futons, eyes closed. Fiona even smoothed down her green dress (I wore red instead of green) and held a posy. We heard the heavy footsteps of the knight, and waited for him to speak.

Instead, both of us got harmless heart attacks. A hand began shaking us by the shoulders. "Wake up!"

Fiona spoke first. "What?" she demanded.

"Are you Princess Fiona?" questioned the knight.

"I am." my sister replied. "And next to me is my sister, Princess Nancy. We are awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue us."

"Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!" said the knight, taking hold of my sister's hand.

"But wait, Sir Knight!" Fiona protested. "Firstly, you are meant to rescue both of us, and second, this is our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?"

"Yeah..." said the knight. "Sorry, ladies, but we have to go." This time, at least, he grabbed my hand as well as my sister's.

Fiona continued to protest, until I shyly stepped in. "Fi, you could give him a break." I suggested. However, standing up to my sister very rarely worked, since I was quiet by nature. Fiona was assertive, and as I'd said, bossy.

"You know how it goes, Nancy!" was all Fiona replied. "All the other knights do it like that." This knight, however, just broke down the door and pulled us down the stairs. Fiona continued to protest and suggest that he even recite a poem. I didn't really care, since we were getting out of the prison. The knight didn't care much about our first impression of him, either.

"Well, can we at least know the name of our champion?" Fiona said exasperatedly.

"Since you've gotten the furthest of all the other knights." I said, still quietly.

"Uh, Shrek." replied the knight.

Fiona still played the princess, giving him a handkerchief, etc. I wasn't bothered, just wanting to get out. After all, I had my whole life to be a princess.

Then we heard a roar. "You didn't slay the dragon?" Fiona exclaimed.

"It's on my 'to do' list." Sir Shrek said casually. "Now come on!"

"But this isn't right!" wailed Fiona. "You're meant to charge at it, sword drawn. That's what all the other knights did."

"Yeah, just before they burst into flame." Shrek pointed out.

"That's not the point!" Fiona cried. "Wait, where are you going?"  
"The door's not that way." I said. "The bridge is that way." Shrek replied that he wanted to save something.

"What kind of knight are you?" Fiona and I said at the same time.

"One of a kind." Shrek replied. Thus followed a fight with the dragon. It turned out that Shrek had gone back to rescue a talking donkey, who was adorable, although his voice was annoying.

Shrek didn't bother with pulling once the dragon was after us. He pretty much carried both us and the donkey. I was seriously terrified. Once he'd gotten the dragon a little tied up with its chains, he put all of us down. "OK, you three. Head for the exit!" All three of us did so, pronto, even though he didn't seem to have done much. Seconds later, we had to climb up the burned bridge. Fiona got to the top first, then helped me up. We ran further down away from the castle. I gave a scream of exhilaration for getting out.

"Nancy!" Fiona admonished. "Be a princess!"

I laughed at her, bold with sheer joy. "C'mon, sis, we were finally rescued! Loosen up!"

"Can't." Fiona replied sternly, even regretfully. "My future husband is, like, right there." At that moment, Shrek and his donkey were tumbling down the hill that led up to the castle.

It was time to learn the truth.

**Now, all you have to do is just one thing. Review, please, otherwise I may not continue!**


	2. Chapter 2: Explanations

**Next chapter up! Now the princesses can at last discover the real identities of their saviors. Oh, and don't complain that I've stolen "Nightmare On Elm Street" at the end of the chapter, with Nancy making up the story about the serial killer. And no, she is not Nancy Thompson in the Shrek universe. Thanks for reviewing, iPurpleheart.**

Fiona immediately went into "royal princess mode". "You did it!" she cried. "You rescued us. You're amazing, wonderful, a little unorthodox, I'll admit, but thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. My sister and I are eternally in your debt."

I immediately followed suit, knowing that would be expected of me. "Thank you so much, for rescuing us from that tower, where we had been locked up for twelve years."

The donkey (Who I found out later, was simply named Donkey) cleared his throat pointedly and Fiona added "And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?"

"I hope you heard that, she called me a noble steed." Donkey said proudly. "She thinks I'm a steed."

"The battle is won." Fiona announced. "You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight."

"No." Shrek replied.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Why not?" Fiona asked at the same time.

"I – I have helmet hair." Shrek said. I could tell by his voice that he was making it up. He just really didn't want to take off the helmet for some reason.

Fiona kept asking him. "But how will you kiss me?" she asked.

"What?" Shrek exclaimed. "That wasn't in the job description!"

"Maybe it's a perk." Donkey suggested.

"No, it's destiny!" cried Fiona.

I burst out laughing. "You didn't know that from the story?" I cried. "Well, you better fire that printer. My sister is meant to share true love's first kiss with the knight that rescues her."

"That's right." Fiona said. "But Nancy, don't laugh so loud. You're a princess." she turned to Shrek and said "I must apologize for my sister. She's not used to acting like a princess."  
"Wait, wait." Donkey said. "You think Shrek is your true love?"

"Well, yes-" Fiona began.

Donkey and Shrek burst out laughing, just as I had a moment ago. But Shrek still wouldn't take off the helmet until Fiona yelled at him.

"OK, easy!" he said. "As you command." When he'd taken off the helmet, I burst out laughing again at Fiona's face. I understood why he hadn't wanted to take off the helmet.

"You're.." Fiona said with an effort. "An ogre." Sure enough, the knight was a green-skinned ogre. It explained why he was so rough.

"Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?" Shrek said.

"Well, yes, actually." Fiona said.

"So I assume that you didn't rescue us to be my sister's true love?" I said, stepping back slightly. This was not a comfortable space with me, even though my sister was an ogre by night.

As Fiona stalked further off, Shrek said "Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farrquad. He's the one who wants to marry you. He didn't even say anything about your sister."  
"Why didn't he come rescue us?" Fiona asked.

"Good question. You should ask him that when we get there."

"But I have to be rescued by my true love," my sister protested. "Not by some ogre and his pet. And this goes for my sister too."

"So much for noble steed." Donkey grumbled.

"Look, Princess, you're not making my job any easier." Shrek began.

"Not my problem." Fiona said, scowling. "You can tell Lord Farrquad that if he wants to rescue us properly, we'll be waiting for him right here, won't we, Nance?" she said, plopping down on a rock. I nodded, knowing that was how it went. I sat on a twisted tree branch next to her.

"Listen," said Shrek, stepping closer to us. "I'm no one's messenger boy, alright? I'm a delivery boy."

"Fine, I'll walk." I said quickly, getting up. "I don't care, anyway."

Fiona, however, stubbornly scowled. "You wouldn't dare."

But Shrek did. He simply picked up Fiona and hung her over his shoulder. She screamed at him to put her down for about an hour, but gave up. Donkey chatted happily to us, asking questions. He was like a problem page. Fiona actually answered the questions properly, but I couldn't be bothered. Finally, Fiona asked "What's Lord Farrquad like?"

"Well, let me put it this way, Princess." Shrek spoke up, dropping my sister. "Men of Farrquad's stature are in...short supply."

Donkey laughed. "Oh no, Shrek, there are some who think...little of him." Both guys laughed.

"Stop it, both of you." Fiona said sternly. "You're just jealous because you couldn't measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farrquad."

"He sounds boring and short." I said. "I'd rather stick with you two. You're more fun."

Donkey grinned. "So one princess doesn't want to be a princess, huh? That would be fun, if we could hang out."

"Maybe you're right," Shrek was saying to Fiona, "But you can judge when you see him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I began to feel sorry for Fiona. She sounded scared, and I knew she was scared of showing her curse to the guys. "Shouldn't we stop to make camp? There's robbers in the woods!"

Shrek wasn't bothered, but Donkey said, "Whoa, time out, Shrek! Camp sounds good."

Shrek shrugged. "Hey, come on, I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest."

"But we need sleep!" I protested.

"That too." Donkey muttered.

It was Fiona who persuaded him, though. Well, I say persuade, but it was more like yelling "I need to find somewhere to make, NOW!"

In the end, we found a cave, which Fiona made a makeshift door for, and pulled me inside, saying goodnight to the guys.

"You want me to come in and read a bedtime story, cause I will." Donkey began to offer.

"I said good night!" yelled Fiona.

"No thanks, I tell the bedtime stories." I said. "Good night, boys." It was true that I made up stories, but Fiona said they gave her nightmares, so I just made them up to myself. My favourite was the one when a serial killer killed the teenage Princess Fiona and her Prince Charming, but Princess Nancy was the one to set him on fire and finish him off.

I slept soundly, but the next morning, I could tell that Fiona had hardly slept at all by the dark rings around her eyes.

**Second chapter done. Next I get to do the Hood scene, which makes me laugh every time, especially when Fiona says "Man, that was annoying!" Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Journey

**OK, yay, I get to do Hood and his merry men now!**

**Oops, I forgot. I own nothing at all from the "Shrek" universe. However, I do own Nancy.**

When I woke up, Fiona was gone, and the guys were asleep outside. I assumed Fiona had gone to find breakfast. That was the kind of thing she'd do, and the sun was up, so she was back to being human.

And less than an hour later, she was back, and frying eggs she'd gotten. "Morning, Nance." she greeted me. "So what's up?"

"Why are you talking like that?" I asked. "You'd never let me do it without reminding me I'm a princess."

Fiona shrugged. "I'm sick of telling everyone off. The guys did rescue me, and you are my sister. I guess we have one more day to be regular girls. Like you said years ago, we've got our whole lives to be princesses."

I smiled. "Fi, you're the best."

The boys woke up, and Fiona said the same thing to them. She was also true to her word about being a regular girl the whole day. She acted more like her true form was the one she had at night, actually.

"You know, you're not exactly what I expected." Shrek commented as we walked through the forest.

"Well," Fiona smiled. "Maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. Except my wallflowery sister shows off her wallflowery-ness straight off."  
"Hey!" I protested.

"She's only a wallflower at first." Donkey said. "Then after that, she's less of a princess than you."

Fiona took no notice, walking ahead, humming. That was until a vine swung through the air, with a man scooping up both me and Fiona.

"Princesses!" exclaimed Shrek.

"What are you doing?" Fiona exclaimed.

"How come you did that?" I exclaimed.

The man didn't seem to pick up on our anger. "Cherie...s, I am your savior, and I am rescuing you from this green-" he cut off to kiss my hand, and then Fiona's - "...beast." he finished, glancing at Shrek, who came charging up to the tree branch we and the man were on.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Those are my princesses! Go find your own!"

"Please, monster!" the man cried. "Can't you see I'm a little busy here?" He gestured to us.

"If you let us go, you won't be." I suggested in a mock sweet tone.

Fiona didn't bother with sugar-coating. "Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are!" she shouted at the man.

"Of course, how rude of me." the man exclaimed. "Allow me to introduce myself." He addressed the forest. "Oh merry men!"

At that moment, a group of men jumped out and they all sang a song about "Monsieur Hood". He stole from the rich, gave to the poor and rescued pretty girls. He wanted to be 'paid'.

"Fiona," I whispered. "He's like my dad. The knight with our mom."

"I'm just waiting for the right moment to beat him up." Fiona whispered back. "Don't worry, we'll both be fine."

And just as Hood was about to stab Shrek, Fiona karate kicked him, and landed on her feet, as I carefully climbed down the tree branch.

"Man, that was annoying." Fiona said calmly.

"Oh, you little-" began one of Hood's men. He shot an arrow at her, but she dodged. It nearly hit Donkey, but Shrek pulled him out of the way just in time. The men all tried to attack Fiona, but she knocked them all down. One man even got close to me, but she ran in and knocked him down easily. She practiced combat skills a lot, I knew, and it really paid off, it seemed.

Finally, she straightened up and said "Shall we?" and all four of us walked off.

"Wow, what was that?" Shrek exclaimed. "Back there, that was amazing."

"Well," said Fiona. "When one's a princess who lives alone, save for a younger sister, one has to learn these things in case there's-" She broke off, realizing that Shrek had been hit by an arrow, and it was still there.

Shrek himself seemed unconcerned. When Fiona told him, he just said "What? Oh, will you look at that."

"Oh, this is all my fault, I'm so sorry!" she said.

"What's up?" Donkey asked.

"Shrek's hurt." Fiona told him. I sighed, knowing how Donkey was going to react. He made a lot of use out of his ability to talk.

"Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh no, Shrek's going to die!"

"Donkey, I'm OK." Shrek said calmly.

"You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die!" Donkey continued as if he hadn't heard.

Fiona looked thoughtful and said "Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, go and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Nancy, you go with him." I threw a grateful smile at Fiona. I might not be a delicate princess, but I still can't stand the sight of blood at the best of times.

"OK, let's go." I said quickly. "Come on, Donkey."

"Blue flower, red thorns." Donkey reminded himself, skipping off with me following. He turned back to add "Don't die, Shrek, and if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light-"

"Donkey!" cried Shrek and my sister.

"Oh, sorry."

I raised my eyebrows and sighed, then smiled and followed the sidekick.

"Blue flower, red thorns." Donkey chanted throughout the search, even when we reached some flowers that fit Fiona's description.

"There are some." I said.

"Oh, thanks for telling me, Princess." Donkey said. "This would have been so much easier if I wasn't COLOUR- BLIND!"

"Don't call me Princess." I sighed. "I wish I was Nancy. Just Nancy. Not Princess Fiona's sister, not the wallflower of a little sister. Just me. But I'm not going to be able to escape that."

"You know, you could stay with us." Donkey offered. "Fiona's the one that's going to get married, not you."

I looked down. "That would be nice." I whispered. Then I sighed. "Fiona wouldn't let me. Even though she's only a year older than me, she feels responsible. She'd want me to stay with her."

At that moment, we heard a scream echoing through the forest. Donkey picked one of the flowers and we ran back to find my sister and Shrek in a...compromising position. And the arrow was still stuck in the exact same place as before.

"You know, if you guys want to be alone, all you had to do is ask." Donkey offered.

"Oh, come on, that's the last thing on my mind." Shrek insisted. "The Princess was just-oh!" Fiona had finally managed to get the arrow out. She waved it at Shrek. "Ow?" he said.

I sighed. "So getting me out was for nothing? No blood?"

Fiona shrugged. At that moment, Donkey fainted from the heat. Shrek gently picked him up, and we continued to go to this place, Duloc.

**Next chapter, I can do a bit more original stuff. Hey, it's a musical montage! Please review. Also, please vote on the poll in my profile. Thanks to the one person who has already voted!**

**By the way, in the next film, I'm thinking of doing Puss/Nancy and removing the cat thing so it's not bestiality. What do you think? Please tell me in a review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Flirting

**Next up is the montage, and a bit of romantic tension. Go back two days and it was about six years since I last saw the movie. I only just saw it again, and this time I was old enough to appreciate the innuendos in some scenes and like the romantic scenes.**

It didn't take too long to get to Duloc, but the whole time, Fiona practically ignored me. I know she didn't mean to, though. It wasn't like she had planned to get close to Shrek. No, seriously, that was why. It was like they were kindred spirits, in spite of her "act like a princess" thing she was always on about. I didn't feel too left out most of the time, though. I talked to Donkey. Well, I say talked, but it was surprisingly hard to get a word in edgeways. OK, so maybe I was exaggerating, because he did ask me questions, but I never really chose the conversation subject.

It was near sunset by the time we got in sight of Duloc.

"You know," Donkey said, "Shrek thinks Lord Farrquad is compensating for something, which I think means he has a really – ow!" Shrek had stopped him pointedly.

Fiona was starting to panic. She was still worried about her curse being shown off. This time, instead of yelling that they had to camp out, she claimed that she thought Donkey didn't look too good. We all went along with the charade.

When I got Fiona alone, I whispered "Did you really think Donkey was malnourished or whatever?"

"Not at first." she admitted. "Maybe what I said set him off. You better stay with him, OK?" She was going to get firewood, and Shrek had gone to find something for us to eat.

"I can't feel my toes!" Donkey was exclaiming, then he looked down at his hooves. "I don't have any toes!" He sat down, looking lonely. "I think I need a hug."

I laughed and hugged him. "There. Are you happy now?"

Donkey's trademark smile appeared again. "Of course."

"So..." I said. "I actually do have a question. How'd you end up here? I might have been locked up for twelve years, but I'm not innocent enough to not know when people aren't particularly friendly. Shrek seems like the type of guy who'd just want to be alone." Then I smiled. "Although I think he'd make an allowance for my sister. They were so obviously flirting this afternoon. So?"

"He saved me from Lord Farrquad's guards, who wanted fairytale creatures banished to...Shrek's swamp. I got away from them. The only reason he even did this was to get the deed to his swamp back. Our swamp. He says he wants to live alone, but I think he likes me really."

I smiled, suddenly realizing how much I was going to miss this. I'd only known both Shrek and Donkey for less than two days, but hanging around them was just fun. Also, I could tell Fiona and Shrek had chemistry. It was getting so noticeable. They were talking quietly all evening until Fiona realized it was sunset, and started panicking all over again. There was an abandoned structure near, which we went in.

The minute we were in, I asked "Fi, do you really still want to go to this Farrquad?"

"I have to marry my true love to break the spell, don't I?" Fiona said, sighing. "Wait a moment." She stepped back as the cloudy magic swirled around her before she became an ogress.

"But are you sure your true love will be this guy?" I persisted.

"I can't be a princess with this curse!" Fiona pointed out. "It's for your benefit, too, Nance. I have to do this. I need the spell broken, and you need to be accepted as a princess."  
"But I don't want to be a princess." I protested. "Seriously, I'm not sure whether you should do this."

Fiona refused to discuss the matter any further. "Nancy, I'm marrying Lord Farrquad to break the spell. Nothing can make me change my mind." Like I said, standing up to Fiona hardly ever worked. This was the furthest I'd pushed it, and this time, it didn't work.

That night, I woke up to a familiar voice and the door creaking. "Princesses? Princess Fiona? Nancy! Where are you? It's very spooky in here."

"Donkey?" I mumbled, opening my eyes.

And then Fiona accidentally showed herself. I knew everything was going to go to hell.

Donkey started screaming when he saw the ogress girl. "What did you do with the Princesses!" he yelled.

"Shh, it's me!" Fiona said.

Donkey glanced at me. "Keep away from her, Nancy!" he turned back to Fiona, thinking that this ogress ate the real Fiona. "Can you hear me?" he yelled. "Keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!" He turned towards the door "Shrek! SHREK!" Fiona had to forcibly cover his mouth before she could get a word in.

"This is me." she said quietly.

"It really is her." I added. "I've witnessed this since I was born, practically."

Once Donkey had calmed down enough to understand us, we explained. This was why Fiona was so desperate to be out of sight after sunset, and why she wanted to get married to Lord Farrquad before even meeting him.

"It's the only way to break the spell."

Donkey paused, but then he said "Well, at least you've gotta tell Shrek the truth."

"No!" Fiona cried. "No one must ever know! You shouldn't know anyway. The only one who knows is Nancy, and she has to know for sisterly reasons."

"What's the point of talking if you've gotta keep secrets?" Donkey sighed.

"Communicating." I muttered under my breath, but added "Would you want to tell anyone if you were cursed so every night you turned into something you didn't want to be?" I sighed. "It seems like every princess has a secret. This is Fiona's." I had no intention of telling mine.

"Promise you won't tell." Fiona said urgently.

"All right, all right, I won't tell him. But you should." Donkey said. He walked out, muttering about having therapy.

"Are you going to?" I asked. "You two were getting pretty close."

"Me, with Shrek?" Fiona said. "We're just friends, I guess. If I do ever see him again, it probably will be in a long time."

**OK, next chapter will tell you about Nancy's fate during "Hallelujah". I'm not sure. Farrquad isn't one to let relatives around, but he might do it for his bride.**

**Now, no one has reviewed since the first chapter. Why won't anyone review? Doesn't anyone like this story? *sobbing* Please do it! Everyone who takes the trouble to review gets a virtual treat next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5: Truth

**Next chapter up! I hope you enjoy it. Now, virtual treats:**

**To Agnez: Mars Bar cupcake, and**

**To (): Vanilla cupcake**

**Please keep reviewing!**

The next morning, Fiona had used a flower to decide whether to tell Shrek about her curse. But she didn't get a chance to. By the time we found him, he was acting really detached, insisting that he heard everything. He'd heard Fiona talking about being "ugly". But before she could explain, a band of horses and men came up. The shortest man was in front, with careful hair. Lord Farrquad.

His eyes looked me and Fiona both over. "Princess Fiona."

"As promised." Shrek said. "Now hand it over."

"Which one is the princess?" Farrquad wanted to know.

"This is Fiona." I said quickly. "I'm her sister, Princess Nancy."

Farrquad turned to Shrek and handed him a document. "Here it is, ogre, the deed to your swamp, cleared out as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind."

He then turned to Fiona and began to make a speech to her. At that point, I'd realized he was just an up-himself snob. Fiona played up to him, and even made plans to get married the same day. Finally, she said "And my sister. She will be coming too."

"To the wedding?" Farrquad said. "Well, I don't think so."

Fiona nodded meekly, even though I had nowhere to go. "Goodbye, Nancy." She hugged me and whispered "Don't worry. I'll talk him round after I've married him."

So I was left standing there with Donkey and Shrek, while Fiona, perched on the horse, disappeared down the hill.

"There's something you don't know." Donkey began to say. "I talked to her and Nancy last night-"

"I know you talked to them last night!" Shrek snapped. "You're great pals, aren't you. Well, if the three of you are such great friends, why don't both of you follow _her_ home?"

"He doesn't want me around, and he won't want Donkey." I pointed out. Shrek just scowled.

"I want to go back with you." Donkey said.

"I told you." Shrek growled. "You're not coming home with me! I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else, understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying talking donkeys, and meek, wallflowery, little sister princesses!"

I didn't say anything as the ogre stormed away.

"It's just us." I sighed to Donkey. There was a pause.

"Um," Donkey said. "You said every princess had a secret. Is there one you have?"

I looked at him, and then said "OK. But it's my secret. I'm going to be the one to tell anyone." Donkey nodded, serious for once.

I whispered quietly. "I am the daughter of a queen, but Fiona and I don't have the same father. A knight...attacked our mom." I sighed. "When Fiona got married, it followed that I'd be welcomed back as a true princess."

Donkey stared at me. "But you don't want to be a princess, I thought."

"But I didn't want to be locked in a tower." I explained. "Now it looks like it's just us. Two outcasts, huh?"

We wandered around for a few hours, until I heard a roar from above. Donkey and I both looked up, and I realized that my former captor was there.

"Dragon!" exclaimed Donkey.

He seemed to understand what the dragon was saying. "She says she wants me to give her a chance." Donkey told me.

"She?" I exclaimed. "I don't know why I didn't see it. She doesn't want to get me back in the tower, does she?"

Donkey shrugged. "No. Now we've got one more thing to do. Go back to see Shrek and convince him not to let Fiona go like this. He cares for her more than Farrquad, I know he does."

Dragon (another state the obvious name) flew us to Shrek's swamp. I stayed with her, hidden, while Donkey went out, trying to first make friends with Shrek when he came out of the excuse for a house in the middle of the swamp. Then, for the first time, he actually stopped being his usual self, who was always hyperactive or friendly. Before, he'd always just been desperate to be friendly with Shrek. Even that first night, I slept for a bit, but I did hear them talk. Now Donkey was at last telling him how he felt.

"You just shut up and pay attention!" he said fiercely. I could just hear him from my position. "You are mean to me. You insult me, and you don't appreciate anything that I do. You are always pushing me around or pushing me away!"

"Oh yeah?" Shrek challenged. "If I treated you so badly, how come you came back?"  
"Cause that's what friends do! They forgive each other!" Donkey hollered. He kept telling Shrek that he should have stopped pushing everyone away. Not just him, but me and Fiona. Donkey continued that Fiona might even have loved Shrek, if he hadn't done that. And that was when the truth came out.

Shrek hadn't heard everything we had said. He'd just heard Fiona talking about being ugly, and assumed she meant him, when she was really talking about herself. When Donkey told him that it wasn't him, that was when things calmed down.

"So," Shrek said, after becoming proper friends with Donkey. "What did Fiona say about me?"

"Why don't you ask her?" I asked, stepping out. "By the way, I forgive you about calling me meek and wallflowery. I know what you think about my sister. So are you going to her?"

"We'll never make it in time, though." Shrek pointed out.

Donkey laughed. "When there's a will, there's a way, and I have a way." I climbed back onto Dragon as Donkey whistled to her. She let the guys climb on, and flew us to Duloc, just as the sun began to lower.

**Next will be the wedding. Fun, huh? Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6: Love

**OK, next chapter up. Thanks for reviewing, Randall Boggs and anon.**

The minute Dragon touched down on the ground, Shrek was on the ground, about to run into the chapel where the wedding was taking place at that moment. Donkey told Dragon that one of us would whistle for her.

"Wait, you can't run in now!" I objected, following Shrek. "Has the priest said the line yet?"

"Yeah, you have to wait for the line!" Donkey agreed. "The priest will say 'speak now or forever hold your peace' and that's when you say 'I object'."

"I don't have time for this!" Shrek was ready to storm straight into the chapel anyway. Donkey persuaded him to wait, but they checked it out – by having Donkey thrown up so he could see what was going on.

"He already said it!" he exclaimed.

"That's my cue." I muttered, as Shrek threw open the doors and charged in.

"I OBJECT!" we both screamed, although I couldn't be as bold as to yell it, practically whispering.

"What are you two doing here?" Fiona sighed, glaring at both of us.

"Really," said Lord Farrquad, "It's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, or being a useless relative, but showing up uninvited to a wedding-"

I was taller than this man, and I tried to look as intimidating as possible. I pretended I was my fearless sister. "I suppose that means you're rude, since no one wants you, and you're useless. You should have been the one to rescue us, although I expect that you would have just left me there."

Shrek kept trying to talk to Fiona. It was only after sunset was in full swing that Fiona stepped back.

"By night one way, by day another." she whispered. She looked at Shrek. "I wanted to show you before." She closed her eyes, as the magic transformed her.

"That's what she was talking about last night." I said triumphantly.

"Well," Shrek said "That explains a lot."

Farrquad was, of course, superficial, and ordered the guards to get both of them.

"This marriage is binding!" yelled Farrquad, donning a nearby crown. "And that makes me king! See? SEE?"

I folded my arms, knowing that the kiss was what sealed the wedding. He saw me and then his eyes lit up. "Maybe the marriage with your sister didn't work out, but provided that you're not under any curse-"

"No way!" I said, running off to fight some of the guards, not wanting to waste any time. Shrek was trying to hold them off, but there were too many, and he could only get rid of about three at a time (and that was only pushing them off momentarily). Fiona was having even less luck, in spite of her knowledge of martial arts. Me, I didn't have Shrek's strength or Fiona's skills.

Farrquad was not doing much, really, just wearing the crown and telling Fiona that he'd lock her back in a tower, just because she had a spell on her.

That was when I remembered Dragon. I whistled, hoping against hope that she'd hear. But in a flash, the window of the chapel crashed open and Farrquad was swallowed.

"Nobody move!" Donkey was right there on Dragon's head. "I've got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Dragon coughed up the crown and Donkey grinned. "Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?"

Next, we watched as Shrek and Fiona confessed their love for each other, and they shared that magical kiss, when Fiona would take her true form.

I watched, as she kept her one true form – the form of an ogre. She lay unconscious for a moment.

"Fiona?" said Shrek as she opened her eyes. "Are you all right?"

"Yes." whispered my sister. "But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful."

"But you are beautiful."

I started crying from the sweetness.

"I was hoping this would be a happy ending." Donkey sighed.

There was just one more thing left. And that was a wedding. It was as traditional as it could be, really. We had it in the swamp, which seriously was better than it sounded. Practically all the fairytale creatures that had been sent to the swamp before got to come. After the ceremonial part was done, we partied.

Dragon caught Fiona's bouquet, but then, she and Donkey were practically a couple unofficially anyway. He even sang part of the Monkees' song "I'm A Believer" in the wedding band, being all close with Dragon when he sang the "I'm in love" part.

After that, we all waved goodbye as Shrek and Fiona got into their wedding car and drove off to their honeymoon.

But while I was happy for everyone, I felt like I was the only one not getting any love. It was good not having to act like a princess all the time, but I had to admit, sometimes I felt jealous of Fiona. All she had to do was fall in love to be happy, while I just had to get accepted back as a princess. Falling in love didn't happen to me. Of course, it wasn't my first choice to be a princess, but like Fiona said, it was destiny. Just because she was older, and the daughter of a king as well as a queen, she got the deal. Why? Why was she so much luckier than me?

I decided that I'd wait for Shrek and Fiona to get back before I thought any more about the future, so I emailed them to make sure it was OK to keep the house for them, and got permission. After a few days, Donkey joined me, saying Dragon was being moody, so he decided to try and avoid getting burned to a crisp. We had a bit of fun just hanging out together.

And then, about a month later, my sister and new brother-in-law came home.

**Now I can start on my favourite movie! Please review to get me to write more!**


	7. Chapter 7: Invitation

**OK, here we go. Thanks for reviewing, lostmymuchness17 and ToxicFireStarter.**

When the door to the shack opened for the newlyweds, I came up and hugged Fiona.

"Hi, Nancy!"

"Hi, Fiona! Did you guys have a good time?"

"Donkey?" Shrek exclaimed, seeing the talkative equine family member on the armchair.

"Shrek! Fiona!" Donkey exclaimed. "Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek!" Then he turned to Fiona "And look at you, Mrs Shrek! How about a cube of sugar for the steed?"

"Are you still hung up on the time she called you a noble steed?" I teased.

"What are you doing here?" asked Shrek.

"I was just helping Nancy here take care of the love-"

"Just don't say it." I interrupted. I was quite jealous enough of Fiona for finding her true love without seeing and hearing it all the time. Well, I didn't want it shoved into my face all the time.

"I guess you guys would like us to leave you alone?" I suggested, knowing that just-married couples feel that way a lot.

We did both walk out, although I had to pull Donkey out, once he'd explained that he wanted to move back in with them. But the minute we were there, we realized a bunch of guys in red coats were there. A man as short as Lord Farrquad spoke in a very precise tone. "Princess Nancy, is that you?"

"Me?" I squeaked.

"Where is Princess Fiona and her new husband?"

"Inside." I said. Donkey bounced in to go get them. The man explained that the king and queen of Far Far Away (Our mom and Fiona's dad) wanted to see us, and hold a royal ball in celebration of Fiona's marriage. I would be accepted into the family properly, as if the King was my father too, and he also wanted to give Fiona and Shrek his blessing. "Love, the King and Queen of Far Far Away, a.k.a, Mom and Dad."

"Royal Ball?" Donkey exclaimed. "Can I come?"

"We're not going." Shrek said. "Nancy can go, but we're not. Won't they be a bit shocked to see you like this?"

"Well, they might be a bit surprised." Fiona admitted. "But they're my parents, Shrek! They love me. And don't worry, they're gonna love you too."

"If they're anything like me, she's right. They wouldn't accept me if they were how you're probably thinking." I pointed out, tying my brown hair into pigtails, since they looked better with my red dress.

"You could at least give them a chance!" Fiona insisted.

"Oh?" Shrek said sarcastically. "To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?"

"No! They just want to give you their blessing."

"Oh, great. Now I need their blessing?"

"Well, if you want to be a part of this family, yes."

"And who said I wanted to be part of this family?"

"You did, when you married me!"

"Stop arguing!" I pleaded. "Shrek, I think you should go. You don't have to stay if it doesn't turn out well, right, Fi?"

That did nothing. They kept arguing. Of course, Fiona won, and we set off to Far Far Away, Donkey in tow. The Gingerbread Man, the Three Pigs, the Big Bad Wolf, the Three Blind Mice and Pinocchio house-sat. "Don't worry, we'll take care of everything!" I think they just wanted somewhere to hold a party, due to the music that blasted out of there seconds later.

He drove us crazy, asking "Are we there yet?" every minute. In the end, Shrek started mimicking him.

What Donkey said that Shrek copied was "Are we there yet? That's not funny, you know. Yeah, that's really immature! See, this is why no one likes ogres. All right, your loss."

"I'm just gonna stop talking!" Donkey finished.

"Finally!" Shrek said. I laughed, knowing Donkey didn't have the ability to be silent for more than ten seconds.

Donkey tried to stop getting bored by clicking his tongue, in the end. After three clicks, Shrek sighed and pleaded "For five minutes, could you not be yourself? FOR FIVE MINUTES!" He yelled the last bit. Finally, Donkey clicked one more time, and Shrek cried "Are we there yet?"

"Yes!" Fiona and I both answered in unison. I stared out the window at the kingdom of Far Far Away, for the first time since I was a very little girl.

"Wow, is this where I grew up until I turned five?" I exclaimed. "Why don't I remember this? It's amazing!"

"Wow..." Donkey breathed. "It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on!"

"We are definitely not in the swamp anymore." Shrek muttered, looking depressed.

Donkey continued to talk to everyone we passed, I stared around at everything, Shrek obviously was worrying about meeting the parents, and Fiona was being reassuring.

We then waited at the red carpet in front of the castle.

A man stood near us, and then he announced. "Announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona, her new husband, and the also beautiful Princess Nancy!"

We all got out of the car. As we walked, I heard a baby begin to cry. I walked alongside Fiona, who in her ogre form was a lot taller than me.

"So, still think this was a good idea?" Shrek asked.

"Of course!" Fiona said nervously. "Look, Mom and Dad look happy to see us."

"Mom does." I said. "Dad – at least, your dad – looks like he wants to pretend he's not home."

"Nancy, this is not the time."

We kept walking. Fiona was just like Mom, from what I could see, and Shrek was acting just like Dad – I guess I'll be accepting him as my dad from now on. Shrek was convinced that the whole of Far Far Away were ogre hunters.

We finally, got up to them.

"Mom!" Fiona said. "Dad." she hugged both of them.

"Hi." I said, shyly looking up at them.

"I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek." said Fiona.

"Well," Shrek said awkwardly, "It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from."

I knew right from that moment that this trip was going to be a lot more turbulent than I had hoped, just like when we were rescued.

**Dinner is next. Please, please, please review!**


	8. Chapter 8: Arguments

**Before I begin on this, good news. I just bought "Puss In Boots" on DVD. I actually feel kind of guilty for what I've planned to do with Kitty Softpaws in a later chapter, but forgive it...it might just give me a sequel...(But seriously, don't be offended that I'm sticking one of my favourite characters with an OC). But anyway, I now have a back story to work with in later chapters!**

**OK, next chapter, with a Fairy Godmother after an argument. Please enjoy! And thanks to AnnaleaseTurner for reviewing!**

We had the most disastrous dinner that night. Dad obviously hated Shrek on sight, and Shrek didn't have a clue how to act anyway. Even Donkey knew what he was doing better. And the one time Shrek knew to lie about the swamp, Donkey let it slip, and that didn't help any.

Mom, Fiona and I tried to keep the peace. Dad and Shrek kept sparring, and Donkey just kept out of it.

"So I expect any grandchildren I could expect from you would be-" Dad began.

"Ogres." Shrek replied. "Yes."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that." Mom said quickly.

"Oh, no, of course not. Assuming you don't eat your own young." Dad growled.

"Oh no, we prefer to lock them away in a tower." Shrek replied in the same tone.

"I only did that because I loved them!"

"Oh yes, daycare or dragon guarded castle?"

"You wouldn't understand, you're not their father!"

"You're not Nancy's father, either!"

"That's not fair." I protested.

"It's so nice to have the family together for dinner." Mom muttered miserably.

When the suckling pig was thrown into the air by the fight, we were all drawn into it.

"Harold!" Mom admonished.

"Shrek!" exclaimed Fiona.

"Fiona!" Shrek pleaded.

"Fiona!" Dad appealed.

"Nancy!" cried Fiona.

"Mom!" I whined.

"Harold!" Mom said again.

"DONKEY!" yelled Donkey himself, grinning.

Fiona stood up, glared at Dad and Shrek, then stalked off. I followed her. "Fi, wait!"

I found Fiona in her room in the castle. Well, on the balcony. I put an arm around her as a teardrop dripped onto the stone barrier.

I looked up in wonder when bubbles began to float down. A small fairy with a wand floated within one, like Glinda.

"_Your fallen tears have called to me," _she sang sweetly.

"_So here comes my sweet remedy._

_I know what every princess needs,_

_For her to live life happily." _

The bubble she was in popped. She gave a little cry at Fiona's appearance, then looked at me. "Oh, my dears! Look at you! You're all...grown up!"

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm your and your sister's fairy godmother." said the fairy.

"We have a fairy godmother?" Fiona exclaimed.

"Don't worry." Fairy Godmother said. "I'm here to make it all better."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I think you're just here to see Fiona, not me. I'm just the little sister." I said this a little bitterly, because that was how it was. Fiona was always the one who came first.

"I'm here to give the happily-ever-after to both Queen Lillian's daughters." said Fairy Godmother sweetly.

She began a musical number, where she gave us both a dress, Fiona's in gold and mine in silver. Fiona even got a puppy and I got a sweet little kitten (I adore cats). That was until Fiona screamed "STOP!" Our dresses faded into the clothes we were wearing before that, and she said politely "Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother-"

"But we don't really need this stuff." I finished. "Although it's amazing."

At that point, there was a knock on the door. "Fiona? Fiona!" Shrek burst in, with Donkey right behind. He ran up to see Fiona's dog. (Donkey, I mean.)

We both introduced the two to Fairy Godmother, who seemed appalled by the fact that Fiona was married to an ogre. Shrek himself was none too pleased to meet yet another person from Fiona's past. "Oh, great, more relatives."

"What?" I said.

"She's just trying to help." Fiona said.

"Good! She can help us pack." Shrek said. "Both of you. Get your coats, we're leaving."

"I don't want to leave." Donkey protested.

"When did you decide this?" Fiona questioned.

"Shortly after arriving."

"Shrek, please." I pleaded. "You can't just be like that because Dad didn't like you on sight. You could get to know him."

"Well, anyway, Fiona and I aren't staying, even if you are." Shrek shot back.

Fairy Godmother said she had to be going, and she gave both Fiona and I her business card: "Happiness – just a tear drop away." Then she floated away, and off the balcony.

I decided I better let the couple battle it out, after they continued to argue about leaving and what happened at dinner. "Come on, Donkey, let's leave them be."

But even so, I heard Fiona tell Shrek that he was acting like an ogre from the inside. I also heard him call her "Princess". That was not good, because the last time he'd called her that was before that unfinished wedding with Lord A**hole Farrquad.

At that point, I knew that there were going to be big problems. Especially when Fiona left the room, crying. I had to comfort my sister all over again. "Don't worry, you guys will get through this." I whispered. "Just give him some time."

I lay awake that night, trying to work out what should happen. I must've gone to sleep at some point, but I still woke up fairly early that morning, and that was how a whole new thing started.

**I had to get Nancy on the "hunting" trip somehow. Please do review!**


	9. Chapter 9: Assassin

**Yes! I get to have Puss In Boots make his first appearance now! Oh, and I've thought all about how to fit in his movie to get it to make sense. Please enjoy it! Thanks for reviewing, AnnaleaseTurner.**

I crept out just to find that Shrek and Donkey were about to set off to meet Dad for a morning hunt to get to know one another, so I decided to tag along. I had a feeling that this wasn't innocent, and I mean that because of Dad.

Sure enough, the three of us were blundering around the forest soon enough.

"My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad," Shrek sighed, "And I end up lost in the woods with you two!"

"All right, you don't have to get all huffy with us." Donkey answered.

After an apology from Shrek, we continued to walk. But we suddenly heard some kind of purr.

"Well, Donkey!" Shrek exclaimed. "I know that was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring?"

"What are you talking about? I ain't purring!" Donkey said.

Shrek glanced at me. "Was that you then, Nancy?"

I shook my head. "I don't purr. I'm not a feline."

"It must've been one of you, cause it wasn't me." Shrek said.

"I just told you it wasn't me." I said.

Donkey nodded. "What do you think we are, some kind of-" He was cut off by a small figure leaping in front of us.

"Ha-ha! Fear me, if you dare!" A ginger cat was standing in front of us. It hissed and brandished a paw.

I stared at this cat. It was wearing a cape, a wide-brimmed hat with a feather, a belt, and boots. All of them were black. And it held a sword. But that wasn't what caught me. It was its voice. It had a Spanish accent, and the tone made it clear it was a male cat. But the voice made one word spring to mind, for me, at least: sexy.

But I banished the thought. He was a cat. With a sword.

"Oh, look, a little cat." was all Shrek said.

"Look out, Shrek!" shrieked Donkey, staring at the skinny but sharp-looking sword.

"It's a cat, Donkey." Shrek said calmly, and started calling to the cat as if he was normal. When the cat threw off his coat and hat, stuck his sword in the ground, and scampered up without his boots, I retreated quickly, even though he didn't seem at all interested in me. He went straight for Shrek, who started screaming to get him off.

The attack didn't last too long, but it left a lot of cuts, considering Shrek's reaction.

The cat cartwheeled through the air and landed back in his original stance and clothes. "Now, ye ogre," he said, watching all of us from underneath his hat with glittering green eyes. "Pray for mercy from..." He carved a P with his sword on a tree. "Puss...in Boots!"

OK, the clothes (especially the boots) and the sword made more sense. But why had he attacked us?

"I'll kill that cat!" Shrek raged. Puss in Boots began laughing, but then he knelt down and began to cough uncontrollably for about a minute, coughing up a furry thing.

He smiled sheepishly. "Hairball."

"Gross." I muttered. But by that time, Shrek had picked him up and asked us what we should do with him.

"Give him the Bob Barker treatment!" Donkey suggested.

"C'mon, he's a cat." I pointed out. "That's a little harsh. I say we tie him to a tree with something claws can't cut and leave him there." I was trying to be imaginative. I didn't particularly want to see a cat die, and like I said, there was something about his voice that kind of drew me in.

It didn't exactly help harden my heart when he began pleading – in that voice with that accent – with us not to hurt him. "Please, I implore you! It was nothing personal, Senor! My mother, she's sick, and my father lives on the garbage. The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers-"

Shrek interrupted him. "Fiona's father paid you to do this?"

"The rich king? Si." Shrek immediately dropped him. So it wasn't his fault as much as it was Dad's fault. At least he didn't just decide to attack for no logical reason.

"What the hell?" I had to exclaim. "The minute we get back, I'm telling Dad to lay off straightaway. Fiona's probably asking about it right now."

"So much for Dad's royal blessing." muttered Shrek.

"Don't feel bad." Donkey said brightly. "Almost everyone who meets you wants to kill you."

"Thanks." Shrek wandered over to a stream, and stared down at the water. "Maybe Fiona would be better off if I was some kind of Prince Charming."

"That's what the king said!" Puss In Boots spoke up brightly. Donkey glared at him. "Sorry, I thought that was directed at me."

"Listen, Shrek," I said, going to join my brother-in-law on one side (Donkey was on the other). "You're the match for Fiona. She doesn't need a Prince Charming. Arguments are just things that happen in marriages. Anyway, you're both ogres, aren't you? Even if it was just you, I'm sure Fiona wouldn't care."

"Fiona knows you'd do anything for her." Donkey agreed.

"Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could." Shrek said, (although he'd pretty much said the opposite yesterday from what I heard of the argument.) "I just want to make her happy."

That reminded me of the card Fairy Godmother had given me. I took it out. "Just a tear drop away." I muttered. "Maybe this will help?" I gave it to Shrek.

Once he'd read it, he said "Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you."

"Oh, man, where do I begin? Well, there was the time this farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party, and he had all his guests trying to pin a tail on me! Then they all got drunk, and started beating me with a stick, yelling 'Pinata! Pinata!' What is a pinata, anyway?"

"Lesson number 1; only give Donkey a reason to talk about himself if you have a lot of time." I muttered with a smile. "And a pinata is a paper-mache with sweets inside."

"No, Donkey, I need you to cry!" Shrek told him. In the middle of Donkey asking why, Puss decided to make Donkey cry himself by stomping on one of Donkey's hooves. It did the trick, but only came up with a type of answerphone in a bubble, suggesting that we go to her cottage to make an appointment.

A smile appeared on Shrek's face. "Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? Nancy?"

On the last 'quest' which was to rescue me and Fiona, I hadn't gotten any real time to get to know Shrek. So I was going to seize this opportunity. "OK." I said.

"All right!" Donkey explained. "Shrek and Donkey – and Nancy – on another whirlwind adventure. _Ain't no stopping us now." _he sang, bouncing along.

"Stop, ogre!" Puss in Boots called after us. "I have misjudged you."

"Join the club, we've got jackets." Shrek muttered.

"I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life, as you have spared mine." He bowed with a flourish, taking off his hat in the process

"I am sorry," snapped Donkey "The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let's go!"

"It's the position of sexy-accented cutie animal that hasn't been taken." I muttered under my breath. I didn't want anyone to hear, but still. And I _did _adore cats in general, although I hadn't counted on meeting anthropomorphic fairytale cats.

At this moment, Shrek was actually thinking that Puss could come with us. Well, I could see why he was being won over. Puss had widened his eyes as much as possible, and fixed him with a pleading look.

"Shrek!" Donkey exclaimed in an appalled tone.

"Aw, c'mon, look at him!" Shrek said. "In his little boots. Look, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Oh, let's keep him."

Donkey wasn't keen, and I could guess why. "Just because we're taking someone else along does not mean you're going to be left out at all. I'm still here." I told him.

Donkey muttered something like "Except you blush whenever that thing talks or looks at you." I sure blushed then. I hadn't been blushing, I thought. Just cause I kind of liked the Spanish accent...

"Aw, listen, he's purring!" Shrek said as he let Puss go on his shoulder.

"Oh, so now it's cute!" Donkey snapped. He was really getting annoyed about this.

"Come on, Donkey, lighten up." Shrek said. For once, he was the happy one of the two.

**There you go! Nancy kind of likes Puss cause of his voice, and because she likes cats in general. I really think Antonio Banderas did a great job, and probably gained the character a lot of fangirls. Please review! (And for those of you who are going to get annoyed about me pairing Nancy up with Puss...well, I'm going to make it as believeable as Shrek and Fiona's love is...sort of. I know Nancy is nothing like Kitty Softpaws, but who says the girlfriends all have to be the same type?)**


	10. Chapter 10: Factory

**Next chapter up. Enjoy it! Thanks for reviewing, AnnaleaseTurner and angel2u.**

Donkey was definitely getting jealous, and I could get why. Shrek had never been as friendly with him as he was being with Puss during the journey to the Fairy Godmother's cottage. And on the meeting terms – well, Donkey had told me that Shrek scared off the guards that were chasing him, so he'd started following Shrek around and trying to befriend him. Puss had been paid off to try and assassinate Shrek and had insisted on coming with us to repay the debt he thought he had when he was at our mercy. Big difference, huh?

"Even you like him." Donkey grumbled to me.

"I like you too." I protested truthfully. "How could anyone dislike an optimistic talking donkey?" I knew that was a lie, but however much Shrek was ignoring him then, I knew they still looked upon each other as best friends.

It didn't help that Shrek and Puss glanced at Donkey every few minutes and then laughed.

"You know," I said pointedly, "It's rude to whisper when there are others there. You're getting on our nerves." See? I was only wallflowery when you first met me.

We finally reached Fairy Godmother's cottage. Which also had a huge factory behind it.

"She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom." Puss explained.

"Then why don't we pop in there for a spell?" Shrek joked. He and Puss began laughing hysterically.

"OK, now you are really getting annoying." I scowled. "If it goes on like this, I am always going to resist the cute eyes – and the accent." I said the last sentence under my breath. I didn't want the cute eyes turned on me to show I couldn't ever resist them – as I knew the full effect had worked wonders on my down-to-earth brother-in-law.

We had to get through a lot of problems to see the Fairy Godmother. I went in first, by my suggestion, with the other three following. "I'm here to see the-"

"Fairy Godmother." the receptionist finished, not looking up. "I'm sorry, she's not in."

"Jerome, coffee and a Monte Christo, now!" called a familiar voice on an intercom.

The man sighed and said into the intercom "Yes, Fairy Godmother." He looked up and said "Look, she's not seeing any clients today."

Shrek made up a lie that got us in, which didn't do much good, actually. All she did was tell us that "ogres don't live happily ever after."

OK, she did stop me on the way out and said "Nancy, dear, you might want to stay away from them – all of them, or your happy-ever-after might not go right. You're a princess, after all." but that wasn't helpful, either.

I didn't tell her what I really thought, which was that she was superficial and stereotypical. I merely nodded politely and smiled sweetly, before following the guys.

Shrek formulated a plan, which involved him taking the work clothes of another guy and putting me and the others into a box, then wheeling it into the Potion Room. Finally, he let us out.

I gasped as I tumbled out of the box. "Need...air.." I muttered. I'd been in a position where I had hooves in my face and claws in my stockings.

Puss and Donkey just complained about each other, not saying anything to me. I had been in a position where I could hear Donkey telling Puss to get the boots out of his face.

"Well, one of these has got to help." Shrek said, looking at all the potions.

"I was just concocting this very plan." said Puss in his – yes, I still think it is sexy – Spanish accent. "Already our minds are becoming one."

I hoped I wasn't blushing at the devious look and the accent. When Donkey insisted it was a bad idea, Shrek simply told him to keep watch, then asked Puss if he could reach the higher potions. He told me to search the lower ones.

"Try 'handsome'." Shrek advised us.

I scanned the lower shelves. "Can't see anything."

"How about 'happily-ever-after'?" Puss called down.

"What does it do?" Shrek asked.

"It says 'beauty divine'."

Donkey was muttering about how in some cultures, donkeys were revered, especially talking ones, not really keeping watch. But Shrek saw we were spotted, and we had to grab the happily-ever-after potion quickly, then make a run for it.

"You guys are so crazy!" I cried. "How did you talk me into letting you do this again?" The alarms sounded, and we had to make a run for it. Part of it was like back at the castle, because Shrek basically carried Puss and Donkey on one side, and me on the other, but we eventually all had to run, me holding up my skirt.

Once we were all out, we gave a few cheers and high-fives (or the equivalent) before looking at the potion.

"For you and your true love." Shrek read. "If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine, happiness, comfort, and beauty divine."

"So does everyone have a true love?" I wondered. "If I drank it, would my true love be changed like me?" To tell the truth, I was a little sad not to have a true love. I still envied Fiona for having Shrek. I didn't know whether Donkey would get back with Dragon, but meanwhile, we were both single. Puss – well, so far I'd think he was a ladies' man with the other cats. He acted it, being all mysterious and that.

I mentally slapped myself. I hadn't even said a word to him, and already I thought I knew him.

I wondered who my true love was, really, or if I even had one.

**I want Nancy to find out about Kitty, but she'll have to do that in the next chapter. Please, please, PLEASE review.**


	11. Chapter 11: Potion

**Next chapter is here. I really hope you like it. Thanks for reviewing, AnnaleaseTurner, AmberRedRose and midnight star237.**

"Are you sure about taking the potion?" I asked. "It kind of gives me an ominous feeling."

"This don't feel right." Donkey agreed. "My senses are tingling all over."

"It says 'beauty divine'." Shrek pointed out. "How bad can it be?" He sniffed the potion, and then sneezed blue sparkles from the potion on a toadstool.

"See? You're allergic to that stuff!" Donkey said. "You're gonna have a reaction!"

"Just in case there is something wrong with the potion," Puss said more tactfully, "Allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honour to lay my life on the line for you."

I shook my head. "Uh-uh. I wouldn't let an animal take that." I was dying to see how it would turn out, but I thought it would be safer if I tried it, although it might well be unsafe. I might have been shy, but I didn't think hard about that type of thing.

"I'm gonna do it!" Donkey insisted. "That's the best friend's job!" He glared at Puss pointedly as he spoke. "Now give me that bottle." He gulped down some of the potion before I had time to move (seriously, I wouldn't have let an animal take that until after this happened), and didn't seem at all different.

"I'll try myself." I said, just taking a tiny sip. Nothing happened, again. I felt fine, and looked the same. There was still three quarters left. I grinned mischievously. "Why don't we all take some, if nothing's gonna happen?"

Shrek didn't seem to mind, and Puss was game, so he delicately took a few drops. As I watched, I noted his clothes. I just adored the hat. The belt was good too. But I guess it was the boots that set it off. Again, nothing happened to him. Finally, it was Shrek's turn.

Donkey warned him that there was no going back if he did drink that. "You love being an ogre-"

"I know!" Shrek cried. Then he sighed. "But I love Fiona more." He then poured the last of the potion down his throat, while the three of us watched.

We were all completely the same. No one had changed.

It started raining immediately afterwards. Donkey overreacted, shrieking "I don't wanna die! I'm melting, I'm melting!"

"It's just the rain, Donkey. " Shrek said, sounding irritated but gentle. We found a little shed where we took shelter.

"Don't worry, Shrek." Donkey said, when he caught him looking out at the lights back at Far Far Away. "Things just seem bad because it's dark and raining and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to kill you." Puss hissed angrily at that comment, but didn't pay too much attention besides that. "It'll be better in the morning." Donkey finished.  
While those two rekindled their best-friendship, I sat down, knees up to my chin, and took the chance to talk to Puss. "So...have you got a true love?" I asked shyly.

Puss sighed, looking somber. "I did have one. Kitty Softpaws. We were separated through complications two years ago. We said we'd meet again, but last year, I got news that she...died. That's why I became an assassin. I needed to do something."

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I wish I could say I understood, but I don't think I will until I have a true love."

Puss smiled a little. "I don't know your name, senorita." he suddenly said.

"Nancy." I told him. "Princess Nancy if you really want to be formal, but I don't really want to be an actual princess, so just call me Nancy."

Donkey began to sing "Tomorrow", but didn't even get to the word "dollar" (That's in the second line for anyone who doesn't know the song). He dropped in a dead faint to the ground.

"Hey." Puss said with a glitter in his amazing emerald eyes. "Let's shave him." I caught myself again. First it was the accent. I'd started to admire his dress sense, too. The hat and boots really pulled off his good look. Now it was his eyes, and they weren't even widened in that cute way. Why was my mind always on Puss?  
But before I could wonder, I passed out too, feeling nauseous. It was a good thing I was sitting. I knew in a way that I was lying curled up, on my side.

What I didn't know was what was happening during this time. Later I was told that Puss, and then Shrek, passed out too (Must've been the potion. Fiona told me later that she couldn't remember much either, and she was affected). But what I didn't know was that while I dreamlessly slumbered, I was changing. And around me, three guys were changing too, along with all their true loves. And unknown to me, the one for me was changing too. I had already imagined my guy, but I expected him to be far away. Far, far away from Far Far Away.

I wondered, briefly, as I slept, if I would ever meet him, but before I could question it further, I was in a deeper slumber than ever before, brought on by the happily-ever-after potion.

**Sorry, I know it's short, but the next one will be longer, I promise! Now, just review. Please?**


	12. Chapter 12: Sexy

**Next up, the next morning. Wonder why I used the happily-ever-after potion on everyone? Well, you'll see why. Thanks for reviewing, Amber and kkman57 (at my request).**

My head ached like crazy when I woke up. I could hear girls' voices.

"Oh look, she's awake." said one of the girls in an annoyed voice.

"There's two of them." said another voice soothingly. "She can't possibly be with more than one of them."

I looked up. Three girls of about Fiona's age were standing above me. I smiled in my most friendly way, feeling shy. "Hi. I'm sorry I was here. It started raining, so my friends and I-" I looked down and gasped. "It worked!" Two totally drop-dead gorgeous guys lay at my feet. The first had thick wavy dark hair and a perfect muscular figure, with perfect fair skin. From the clothes, I could see it was Shrek. The other had darker wavier hair, but he was just as muscular. When he woke and raised his head, I could see he was dark-skinned – kind of Spanish. Puss, obviously. Somehow, because of the potion, Puss got a leather jacket and black jeans, so he was decent. There was a mirror in the little cottage, so I got to take a look at myself. My skin was in better condition. My hair was now dark, but thicker and the pigtails were better shaped (I hadn't had time to undo them when I passed out). Overall, I was beautiful. Of course the girls thought I was dating one of those hot guys.

"So are you just friends?" the girl with the darkest hair asked.

I smiled shyly. "Yeah, we're all friends. No relationships or benefits."

Of course, when each of them woke up, the girls cooed over them. Again, of course they would.

The first thing Shrek asked when he got over the shock was "Have you ladies seen my donkey?"

"Who are you calling Donkey?" The familiar voice came from outside. A grey stallion – well, pure white – stood outside, with a familiar grin.

"Donkey!" I exclaimed.

"You're a-" Shrek began.

"Stallion, baby!" Donkey finished. "I can whinny! I can count. Look at me! I'm trotting!" He cantered around outside. "That is some quality potion. What's in that stuff?"

Puss was staring at a message written in the potion bottle, noting the side effects. Finally, he said "To make the effects of this potion permanent, the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight."

I scowled. "Didn't she think a girl might be the one to take the potion? Plus, I don't know who my true love is."

The girls were all hanging around the two guys. "One of you, please pick me! I'll be your true love."

"I'll be your true love!"

"I'll be true...enough."

Shrek stepped away and said quite politely "Look, ladies, I already have a true love." The three girls all groaned.

Puss barely even looked at the girls, concentrating on the task at hand. "Take it from me," he told Shrek, "You are going to have one satisfied Princess."

I studied Shrek. "Maybe." I said. "Fiona doesn't care too much about appearances. To tell the truth, Shrek, I'm not sure that it was your appearance she wanted you to change."

"But you are a lot easier on the eyes." Donkey said. "But inside you're still the same mean..." I'm not going to recount every single adjective Donkey gave before finishing '...ogre you've always been."  
"And you're still the same annoying donkey!" Shrek replied.

But before we could get out, we had one more thing to do. Shrek had always been a bit larger than a human as an ogre. As a human, he needed a new wardrobe, and fast. We formulated a plan where both Donkey and I pretended we'd just gotten run over by a cart that passed us.

"Ow..." I groaned. "Didn't you see me on there?" I blinked my eyes, trying to pull off Puss' thing with the eyes (although I wasn't sure the human one could manage it, although he still had beautiful clear green eyes).

"I'm blind!" Donkey shrieked. "Will I ever be able to play the piano again?"

"Oh, you poor creature!" cried the driver. "Is there anything I can do for you – and for you, dear?" He addressed me only at the end.

"Well, there is one thing." I whispered in the most helpless voice I could muster.

"Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers!" Puss aimed his sword at the man. Seriously, he could be scary. Maybe the claws weren't there, but the intimidation (and the sexy accent, and the stylish dress sense, and the green eyes, and the...OK, I'm shutting up) was.

We got Shrek to borrow the man's clothes (while I pointedly looked away). But he didn't fit them. We looked at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing. When the man's son came up, we conned him into giving Shrek his better fitting, stylish clothes. Then the four of us rode into the kingdom. Donkey seemed to be able to support the weight of all three of us.

Everyone stared at us as we went through, because we were so hot. We got to the palace soon enough, but the first thing we heard was Fiona screaming. Shrek immediately jumped off Donkey and ran in.

"She saw herself in the mirror." I knew it, and sure enough, the Fiona I remembered from the days when she was human by day ran out.

"Hey, sis!" I called out.

"Princess!" exclaimed Donkey.

Fiona stopped to look at us. "Donkey? Nancy?"

"I guess the happily-ever-after potion worked on you." I grinned.

"What potion?" my sister asked.

"We all took some magic potion." Donkey explained. "And well, now...we're sexy!"

Fiona squinted up. "Shrek?"

Puss, who was still on the horse behind me looked up. "For you, baby...I could be."

"Yeah, you wish." Donkey retorted. I couldn't stop a tiny smile creeping onto my face.

"He's inside, looking for you." I explained. As Fiona ran back inside to look for Shrek, I turned to look at Puss. "Flirting with married women! I wouldn't have thought it of you!" I teased.

As Fiona ran inside to find Shrek, Puss shrugged at me. "She's pretty. All princesses are." He fixed me with an intense stare for a moment (although I don't think it was intentional – it's just how he was...or maybe he was just a flirt). I didn't look away for seconds.

Finally, I smiled and said "That's why princesses – except for little sisters without true loves – have happily-ever-afters."

**Come on, you've noticed it. Nancy has got a crush! And now that they're both human...well, review and tell me if you think something should happen. Don't forget, Kitty's out of the picture. *sob* But Nancy just might be a good friend...or a relationship just as it's been enough time to think about seeing other girls.**


	13. Chapter 13: Chase

**OK, next up...just read and enjoy. Thanks for reviewing, Amber and angel2u.**

I contemplated following Fiona into the castle, but I decided to stay with the guys.

"Hey, Donkey." I said curiously. "Is it weird for you, being able to support people?"

Donkey shrugged – well, as much as he could without tipping us off. "Not really. It feels...natural. Like I said, that potion is awesome."

I thought for a moment, and then came up with another point of conversation. "What about making the potion last? I mean, Shrek and Fiona have each other, but what about the rest of us? No true love."

"Oh yeah." Donkey said, looking disappointed. "I want to stay this way for ever."

"It's more the 'true love' part for me." I said. "I'm not so bothered."

Puss didn't say anything. I guessed that with all this talk of true loves, he was thinking of Kitty and her death. But when I looked at him, his face was more thoughtful than anything else – not sad, as I had imagined. I thought I detected a hint of pink on his face when I turned, but I dismissed it as nothing.

It took another few minutes before Shrek came out, looking gloomy.

"What happened?" I asked. "Fiona came out before, looking for you."

"Nothing." muttered Shrek, still depressed. "Let's go."

We all ended up at the Poison Apple bar, a place where there were several fairytale villains. I shivered as I crossed the room with the guys. "_Are they going to discriminate against me for being a princess?" _I wondered. Surprisingly, no one even looked at me weird. At the bar, all the guys had some kind of strong alcohol – gin, vodka, that kind of thing. They actually did have a weak Baileys, so I had that.

Shrek was obviously depressed. He said that he'd seen Fiona and the true-to-life Prince Charming, and that he'd decided that he was better for her (Later I found out that the Fairy Godmother had simply told him that).

"I hate Mondays." Puss muttered, on one side of me.

"Today's a Wednesday." I said.

"Whatever."

A realization hit me. "Wait!" I cried. "Is it the sixteenth of July today?"

The Ugly Stepsister, who owned the bar looked up and said "Yes, it is."

"Guys, it's my eighteenth birthday tomorrow!" I cried, temporarily overcome by excitement. Then I frowned, hearing a familiar voice behind me. "Is she here?"

I turned to see a figure in a paper bag brown cloak, but I recognized the voice. "I think that's Dad. What's he doing here?" He disappeared into a room at the back. I looked at the guys. "Let's check it out."

We had to look through the window. Was I ever surprised to see that he was talking to the Fairy Godmother and who I assumed to be Prince Charming. That's when we discovered that because of the potion, Charming was able to get away with impersonating Shrek. And the Fairy Godmother wanted to make sure that Fiona fell in love with him. She gave Dad a potion which would make Fiona fall in love with the first person she kissed after taking it. She was planning to have Charming kiss my sister. She even threatened Dad with her wand when he refused!

"I do have two daughters." Dad protested weakly. "Since Nancy is single, I'm sure she'd more readily welcome a relationship." I bit my lip, looking at Charming. Would I ever welcome a relationship with a pretty boy like that? No, I liked the more sexy dangerous types, even if they seemed like they'd be the type to two-time. Like a certain Spanish cat-turned-human. (Look, you did notice that I was falling, right? Was it love...or just like...or even lust? And did he like me back at all?)

"Fiona's the one who will inherit the kingdom. And Charming will too. The oldest is always the one who inherits, isn't she?" Fairy Godmother said simply. "Now, are you going to do this, or not?"

"I am." Dad choked out. Whatever she was threatening to do with her magic wasn't good, I knew. Why was Dad so afraid of her?

But she withdrew her wand, saying she had to help Charming with his hair before the ball began. "He's hopeless, because he can never get to the back!"

"Oh, thank you, Mother." said Charming courteously. I gritted my teeth, realizing what had happened. Charming was meant to be with Fiona all along, but Shrek had gotten there first. And the Fairy Godmother had planned it all along. I could shut up while spying, but not everyone could.

"MOTHER?"

"Donkey, shut up!" I hissed, ducking out of sight. But it was too late. Everyone in the room had heard.

"Um..." said Shrek "Nary, a talking horse!" He failed at seeming surprised, though. Badly.

"The ogre!" Fairy Godmother cried. We had to all make a break for it, as she sent knights after us, saying that we were bandits, etc.

"The minute I can, I'm going to kill both of them." I muttered under my breath as Donkey galloped along. "Just goes to show, judging by appearances doesn't work. Fairies and handsome princes can be evil. Sword-wielding cats can be kind of hot."

But just as we got through the gates of Far Far Away, half the knights knocked Shrek down before he could fight them off, another bunch held Donkey down, and two of the strongest grabbed me. Puss was a better fighter than any of us (even Shrek), but the loss of claws again lost him a win, and not only did the knights manage to get to him, they found a bag of catnip powder he was carrying. "That's, uh, not mine."

I was so mad. Every time one of us tried to explain, we got pepper spray in our eyes. Once they'd gotten all of us in a van, they drove off to the dungeons, where I suspected we'd be for a long, long time, even though we'd done nothing wrong.

**I'm glad I'm getting further and further. I've been having some ideas, so now I'm going to have an easier time. Please review, review, review!**


	14. Chapter 14: Castle

**OK, next chapter. Let's join the characters in the dungeons. Thanks for reviewing, AmberRedRose and kkman57.**

"Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent!" Donkey was yelling in the dungeons. He hung in the chains by his hooves, while the rest of us had our wrists chained. "Nobody said I had the right to remain silent!"

"Donkey, you have the right to remain silent!" Shrek finally snapped. "What you lack is the capacity."

"Just shut up, you guys." I groaned. "You're not making this imprisonment any easier to bear."

"I must hold on, before I, too, go totally mad." Puss murmured, glancing at Donkey.

I had to laugh at that. "It's not this that did it, you know. I think you're either already insane, or you're out of danger of it."

"Shrek? Donkey? Nancy?" The voice came from above. The group of people house-sitting for Shrek and Fiona were up at the top.

"It's the former."

"Pinocchio! Gingy! Get us out of here!" Shrek called up (Gingy was the shortened version of Gingerbread Man).

One of the blind mice fell in while trying to burn off the grid, so the three pigs had to do it. Then they sent Pinocchio down, but he couldn't reach us. Gingy went down on the puppet strings, planning to climb on Pinocchio's nose.

"Quick, tell a lie!" cried Shrek.

"What should I say?" Pinocchio asked.

"Anything, but quick!" Gingy advised.

Donkey grinned. "Say something crazy, like you're wearing ladies' underwear."

"Lady present!" I called out, but Pinocchio repeated what Donkey had said..

His nose stayed the same. Awkward silence.

"Are you?" Shrek finally asked.

"I most certainly am not!" Pinocchio's nose grew after he said that.

"You look like you most certainly am are." Donkey grinned mischievously.

"I am not!" His nose grew again.

"What kind?" Puss asked faux innocently.

"It's a thong!" cried Gingy.

"Shut up about it!" I screamed. "I don't want to hear about this. Pinoc, just say you're a real boy over and over." I did not want to discuss what Pinocchio was and wasn't wearing. It worked, but I wished they could have used a less risque lie. Shrek was unchained by Gingy, and landed on his feet. Puss also landed easily. He might not have been a cat at that moment, but he hadn't lost the agility.

Donkey landed on his back. Me? By the time I was freed, everyone else was ready to get going, and I didn't land on my feet. Puss actually caught me.

I blushed and smiled as he put me down. "Um, thanks."

Shrek had decided to quit his original plan and to try and stop Fiona from being kissed and forced to fall in love with Charming. "I can't let them do this to Fiona." Plus, it was ten-thirty. If Fiona decided she did want to stay human, she and Shrek would have to kiss within an hour and a half.

"You mess with my sister, you mess with everyone she knows." I agreed. "We can't let this happen."

Shrek had a plan to get into the guarded place. Gingy knew the Muffin Man on Drury Lane, who could help. At Gingy and Shrek's request, he did us a favour by baking Mongo, a huge version of Gingy, who would help us get in.

Shrek stood on Mongo's shoulder, and Gingy on Shrek's. Everyone else rode on Donkey, who cantered ahead once he was able to get through. He had to lure Mongo forward, since the huge piece of gingerbread was easily distracted. "Follow the pretty pony!" he called back. "Pretty pony wants to play in the castle!"

We had to go in the back way, Oh, and by the way, you will not believe the next thing. After becoming a stallion, Donkey had begun getting more attention. He'd completely gotten over his jealousy of Puss, and they were beginning to become best mates with each other as well as Shrek. I bring this up because their new friendship was vital to our victory, but that comes later. Mongo managed to open the drawbridge a tiny bit, but he was immediately doused with milk, that made most of him break off and fall into the water. Gingy followed, while Shrek managed to get through the tiny opening, and open the drawbridge for the rest of us. Gingy, luckily, didn't drown.

While our fairytale friends got ready the plan, Shrek jumped on Donkey in front of me, and it was back to the old four. We had a bunch of guards after us, but Donkey was fast. We had to get through to the other doors, where the ball was taking place.

Suddenly, Puss took my hands, and jumped off Donkey with me.

"Puss, Nancy!" called Shrek. Puss whispered his plan, and I grinned and nodded.

"Go, go!" he called to Shrek and Donkey.

"We'll be fine!" I called. "Fiona needs you! Go to her!" The two of them obeyed.

"Today, I repay my debt." Puss said quietly.

He wasn't able to do the cute eyes in human form, but with someone being cute and a really fierce fighter, we could trick the guards. That's where I came in. I made myself look helpless and terrified, clinging to him (not too hard, since I was kind of scared of the guards), and the guards immediately stopped, unable to advance on an innocent princess, even if she was working with the "criminals".

I smiled inwardly. Then "En garde!" Puss drew his sword, gave me a gentle push in the direction of the doors, and began to fight the guards.

By the time I caught up, Shrek and Donkey were at the door. We opened the door to Charming about to kiss Fiona. Shrek dismounted Donkey and approached the two.

"Hey, you! Back away from my wife!" Shrek yelled.

"Fi, get away from that blonde mama's boy!" I screamed, running towards her.

"_Shrek? Nancy?" _my older sister gasped. We had caught the attention of everyone. It was twenty minutes to midnight, and we all knew that the next twenty minutes would seal the fates of all of us.

**You will be so surprised to see what happens to Nancy in the next chapter. Due to the poll, the votes are in, and I'll cater to them. Please review, since the story IS nearing the end. I might well do whatever happened afterwards but not properly (I haven't seen "Shrek The Third" in forever, and I don't really want to).**

**Note: "En garde" is a French expression, not Spanish. It's a declaration for a sword fight.**


	15. Chapter 15: Curse

**OK, next up is the final battle. Prepare for something big to happen. And thanks for reviewing, AmberRedRose, Miss Tosca and angel2u. The poll's winner, by two votes, will happen in this chapter!**

Everyone gasped, not just Fiona. Mom and Dad, Charming, the Fairy Godmother, and everyone else.

Fairy Godmother glared at us. "You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone!" she snarled at Shrek. Then she turned on me. "And I suppose you thought you were the lucky princess, not having a curse! Well, you'll just have to learn that helping ogres is something princesses just don't do!" She pointed her wand at me.

But we had a plan. The three pigs did their thing to help, while Pinoc was launched into the air and made a swipe for the wand. He missed, but it distracted Fairy Godmother enough to aim her wand at him. "I'm a real boy!" he cheered. I laughed. That had so backfired!

But the Big Bad Wolf blew her further up into the air, and she lost her grip on her wand. Several people made their grabs for it. The magic turned Pinocchio back into a puppet. And who got the wand?

Puss had finished fighting with the guards and was now back on Donkey. The stallion leaped into the air as the wand toppled down, and Puss caught it. That's what I meant by their teamwork and our victory.

Donkey grinned. "Pray for mercy, from Puss-"

"-and Donkey!" The duo grinned as they said each other's names.

"She's taken the potion!" Fairy Godmother cried to Charming. "Kiss her now!"

Charming quickly did it.

"No!" yelled Shrek, but it was too late. I watched in horror as Charming caressed my sister's face. Fiona went to caress his face back...and nearly knocked him unconscious with a cry of "Hi-ya!" He was still awake, but only just.

I burst out laughing as Shrek and Fiona stepped towards each other.

"Harold!" screamed Fairy Godmother. "You were supposed to give her the potion!"

Dad didn't look too upset. "Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea." he said. I could tell that he hadn't given Fiona the potion on purpose. It was clear in his face and expression, and it made me smile. Maybe there was more hope for Dad than I thought when we first met.

"Mommy!" called Charming. He'd caught Puss off-guard and grabbed the wand. He tossed it to it's owner, then Fiona's head smash kicked in and he did fall unconsious.

The Fairy Godmother scowled, glaring at Shrek, glaring at me, even glaring at Fiona. "I _told_ you, ogres don't live happily ever after!" she growled, aiming her wand right at us.

Dad suddenly threw himself in front of Shrek. "Harold!" Mom screamed.

The blast of magic hit him, and he disappeared. I gasped as the magic bounced back, right at the Fairy Godmother. She seemed OK, for a moment, and she aimed the wand at me, but then she burst into bubbles, only leaving the wand and half-moon glasses behind.

But not before the magic had hit me.

The magic worked straightaway on me. I screamed as pain hit me. It felt as if I was too small for my own skin, and then it was suddenly just a tiny bit too tight. Then it felt as if I was closed in with pins pricking all over.

"Close your eyes, Nancy!" I heard Fiona call. I did as she said, and only opened them when all the pain had gone.

There was only one thing smaller than me at that moment. A frog with a crown.

"Dad?" Fiona was saying. She looked so much taller than me now.

The frog sighed. "I hoped you'd never see me like this." it said in Dad's voice.

"Hey, and he gave you a hard time?" Donkey said. He, too, looked much taller. I was about five hooves high.

"Donkey!" Shrek admonished. He, looked so much bigger as well. Everyone did, to me.

It was clear Dad had realized that having an ogre for a son-in-law was no big deal, at least, if it was Shrek. "I only wanted what was best for Fiona. But now I see, she already has it. Shrek, Fiona, would you accept an old frog's apologies...and my blessing?"

"Harold?" said Mom, sounding pleased.

"I'm sorry, Lillian." he said. "I just wish I could be the man you deserve."

Mom picked him up. "You're more that man today than you ever were." she told him. "Warts and all."

Once we'd gotten through that, I stared up. "What's happened to me?" I whispered.

Mom looked at me. "I think we better tell her." she said. "Nancy, Fiona was cursed by a witch, true. But you were cursed, too, to become a cat by day, human by night. The Fairy Godmother was able to remove that curse, although she couldn't remove Fiona's. But she threatened to make you a cat permanently if anyone in the family crossed her specifically. That's one of the reasons why we thought it was best for both you and Fiona to live in the tower. You couldn't cross her stuck there. Fiona was arranged to marry Charming, because we thought she might not have kept the threat if you were her son's sister-in-law."

I stared. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. "I...Mom...It's OK." I said finally. I found that I could quite easily use my back paws as feet and my front paws as hands. I happened to know that only the Fairy Godmother could use the wand, so me and Dad had to stay how we were. I realized that this must have been why I had always liked cats – in fact, they had been my favourite animals.

At that moment, the clock struck. It was midnight.

"The happily-ever-after potion!" Puss cried, reminding Shrek of the deadline.

"Midnight." Shrek realized. He turned to Fiona, and asked her if she wanted to stay the way they were.

"I want what any princess wants." she whispered. "To live happily ever after." Shrek leant in to kiss her, but she stopped him. "With the _ogre _I married."

Puss was watching them intently. I could hear him talking to himself. "Whatever happens, I must not cry. You cannot...make me...cry.."

"I suppose if I had a true love, I could kiss him, but I'd still be a cat." I whispered. Although, I was a pretty cat at that moment. My fur was pure black and fluffy, and I expected my deep blue eyes to still be as pretty as they were before (My eyes had stayed blue throughout. Me and Fiona both had blue eyes).

Donkey scowled. He knew he was going to become a plain grey donkey, instead of being a glowing white stallion forever.

Puss slid down from Donkey and without any of the tears he had seconds ago, he said "I think I can move on. I can love again, without playing around like I used to. And I know who I love." I turned to find he was staring straight at me.

**OK, so we all knew this was coming. But hey, I had been developing it, like with the stalling (Nancy plays innocent princess) and the scene in the dungeons. Please review and tell me what you think!**


	16. Chapter 16: Livin' La Vida Loca

**Well, I'm sure you know what is coming next. Please enjoy it! Thanks for reviewing, AmberRedRose (I think what was happening was that they were kind of shy about confessing their feelings and...they just clicked – I mean, one had lost their first real love and the other had never loved before) and kkman57.**

Before I could contemplate what it meant, the clock struck twelve, and all five of us were lifted into the air. I closed my eyes again, but I could still hear Donkey stressing. It was clear that he didn't want to turn back.

We went down. I was still a black cat, but now my fur wasn't as glossy. Plus, my front paws were grey. Everyone was back to normal. The hot Spanish guy was back to the Puss in Boots I met only days ago. Shrek and Fiona were both in their ogre skin. For some reason, the potion had also brought back Shrek's original clothes, which fitted again.

Donkey hung his head sadly. He was back to the small brown-grey animal. Shrek smiled at him sympathetically. "Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me."

I took a shy step towards Puss. "What were you saying?"

He seemed less shy. "I'll admit," he told me, "I didn't really see you having any importance when we first met. You were just some girl. I think the potion was what made it happen. Being human, even for a short time, was interesting. I'd only had one conversation with you, which you initiated, but since we were the same species, I noticed the little things. And I'll admit, it was just attraction then. But as things continued, I noticed you sometimes watching me in a particular way. I started to like your personality too. Really, all those two feelings needed was strength and connection. After I got news of Kitty's death, I thought I could never love again, and that I would go back to my old ways with women. But it's been a long time. Now I think...I think I've begun to fall in love. Now you're a cat...Princess Nancy, will you give me a chance?"

My breath caught. It was my turn to say something. Finally, I came up with my own words. "For as long as I can remember, I've just been Princess Fiona's little sister. I wasn't expected to be anything. She came first. And when she got her own happily-ever-after, I felt so jealous. I wondered if I had my own true love out there. It's now the seventeenth of July, my eighteenth birthday. I'm an adult, and I can decide exactly what I want to do. We're both felines, true, and I can't turn back. I've started to fall in love with you too. Puss in Boots, I couldn't say no if I wanted to, wide eyes or not."

I leant in, and for the first time in my life, I kissed someone I loved. No matter that it was fur to fur, it was still my first kiss. And it was amazing. Was this what it was meant to feel like?

Meanwhile, I hadn't realized that Fiona and Shrek were almost doing the exact same thing. Everyone clapped as we were in the midst of true love. Two cats and two ogres might not have seemed to have a thing to do with love or romance, but to me, it was everything that love meant.

I broke away from Puss just as Shrek and Fiona broke away from each other. I noticed Puss glance at Donkey, who gave a slight nod. Then my new partner called "Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?"

"Uno, dos, tres, hit it!" Donkey yelled.

Before long, great bouncy music began to play. Both Donkey and Puss stood at podiums on a stage. Donkey stepped up to the mic and announced "Puss and Donkey, y'all." Then he began singing. He'd improved from when he'd sang "I'm A Believer." Plus, the music was so catchy that everyone began to dance immediately.

"_She's into superstitions, black cats and voodoo dolls." _he sang, then called "Take it, Puss!"

"_I feel a premonition," _Puss sang back. He pointed at me. "_That girl's gonna make me fall!"_ He jumped down, almost knocking me over. I laughed at him.

"Get back up there and sing!" I ordered, giggling.

Both of them were singing by the time it continued. "_She's into new sensations, new kicks in the candlelight._

_She's got a new addiction, for every day or night._

_She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain!" _It wasn't raining, but there was still dancing, partner or not. After this line, Puss jumped on a wooden chair, pulled a conveniently placed rope which tipped a conveniently placed bucket of water over him. I shuddered at the thought, having instinctual cat feelings over getting splashed.

"_She'll make you live her crazy life, but she'll take away your pain!" _continued the two.

"_Like a bullet to your brain!_

_Upside, inside out, livin' la vida loca!_

_She'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca!_

_Her lips are devil red, and her skin's the colour of mocha!_

_She will wear you out, livin' la vida loca!_

_Livin' la vida loca, livin' la vida loca!"_

We were all rocking out to the vibrant tune. Shrek and Fiona were right in the middle of it.

"Hey, that's Spanish!" Puss exclaimed.

I jumped on stage and began singing it along with them. Well, I sang the lines a little differently to them, since I was a girl.

"_We'll push and pull guys down, livin' la vida loca!_

_We will wear you out, livin' la vida loca! _

_Livin' la vida loca!"_

The two kept singing as I stepped back, but I continued to dance. "_She'll push and pull you down, livin' la vida loca!_

_Her lips are devil red, and her skin's the colour of mocha!_

_She will wear you out, livin' la vida loca!  
Livin' la vida loca, livin' la vida loca,"_

We all joined in now, belting out the last "_Livin' la vida LOCA!"_

That had to be one of the best nights of my life.

**There you go. "Livin' La Vida Loca" is one of my favourite songs used in the movies, so it was fun to use it here. Next up is a bit of new stuff, and I will do Far Far Away Idol. Please, please, please review!**


	17. Chapter 17: Knowing

**OK, here we are, with the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing, AmberRedRose.**

After the ball, I decided to talk to Fiona. "Hey, sis. I missed you."

Fiona smiled down at me. "I missed having you around too, Nance. How is it? Do you mind..." she gestured to me, and I realized she was talking about my cat form.

"It's not so bad." I said. "Since I'm not changing from human to cat all the time, I'm not bothered, even though it hurt at first. Yes, I'm stuck like this. But it's OK."

A little smile appeared on my sister's face. "When I saw you yesterday morning, I didn't dream that you and the guy on Donkey were both really cats. And now I find that you've been cursed as a cat and you were falling in love with Puss In Boots. So how'd that happen?"

I sighed, and admitted "Well, did Shrek or Dad tell you how we met him?"

Fiona gave a nod. "Yeah. Dad hired him as an assassin. Donkey told me that you were going pink pretty much every time he said anything."

I blushed underneath my fur then. "I did kind of like his voice. I like Spanish accents. But then my attention got drawn to other things. Sense of style, eyes...seriously, when he widens his eyes and stares, you'll do anything for him. I was just concerned; how do you know when you're in love and when you're loved?"

Fiona smiled. "It might be different for everyone, but this is how I knew: It started that night when we went into that cave, remember? I was awake when you weren't, and I heard Shrek talking about how people judged him. That made me think there was more to him than I thought. So I just did my own thing, what I liked doing, instead of being a princess. We just clicked. At first, I thought it wouldn't work, but when he came in to the wedding, that's when I knew it. I denied it for a bit, but when it got to sunset, I knew it. I knew I loved Shrek."

I sighed. "Puss said that he only noticed me after using the potion. Understandable, since we were both human after the potion. He liked me as a person and as a girl, if you know what I mean. He said that all that happened was that the feelings he started having for me got stronger through the day, and that was what made him fall in love with me. For me, it started with the accent, then the style and eyes and that. Then he told me about his first love, and I just kind of thought about it. The next day, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was as if my mind was telling me that nothing else was important. My heart went into overdrive a couple of times when we were together."

Fiona smiled. "Nancy, that's the true sign. Sometimes I feel that way when I'm with Shrek. Sometimes he does drive me crazy, but it's definitely love." She picked me up. "By the way, happy eighteenth birthday, sis." I smiled back up at her.

At that moment, we heard a commotion. I sprang up and ran over, with Fiona following.

It was Dragon! She was back, and now she was saying something to Donkey.

"Baby, where you been?" Donkey asked her. A grin lit up his face. That's when something, clicked and I realized something about Donkey. Maybe that's why he'd been less happy lately, though he was mostly the same hyperactive animal (he was just feeling down more). I'd put most of it down to jealousy, but maybe it was partly because he was missing Dragon ever since she got "all moody".

Dragon seemed happy enough now. She said something to Donkey. "I'm sorry, too." he answered. "I should've stayed, but Shrek had this thing to-" Dragon said something else. "What? Say that one more time...are you serious?"

At that moment, a bunch of fire-breathing winged donkeys and grey dragons flew down, yelling "Dada" and "Daddy". I grinned to myself. So that was why Dragon had been getting moody. She had been pregnant! The group almost knocked Donkey over, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Look at our little mutant babies!" Donkey exclaimed joyfully.

I sidled up to my own partner. "So, anything happening?"

Puss smiled. "The KitKat Club isn't too far. I was just about to ask you if you wanted to go. It's actually kind of an antidote to that ball."

I smiled. "OK, but I really need some shoes or something, at least."

I ended up with some dark blue kitten heels (appropriate name, huh?) which looked cool with my grey paws and mostly black fur. I also fixed a rose hairband over one ear, still having a girly side. I struck a pose. "New most feared cat!" I laughed. "Pray for mercy from...Nancy in Heels!" I giggled again. "I so pawned you!"

Puss smiled and kissed me. Then we walked off to the club.

"So," I said casually, "Do you speak Spanish, like, fluently?"

"Not so much that I'm bilingual, but I do know a lot." Puss admitted. "I grew up in San Ricardo as an orphan, so everything was either English or Spanish. But the orphanage was mainly English, so while I did learn a bit of Spanish, I find it easier to use English for the most part."

"I know some Spanish." I answered. "Would you mind if I used the term _mi bello* _for you?" (I'd been allowed to keep some of my books in the tower, and one of them sprinkled some Spanish words that were translated at the end of the book.)

Puss obviously knew what that meant. He smiled and answered, "Not at all, _belleza**." _We both smiled at each other, and I knew that whatever came into my life next, nothing could ruin this. I had my fairytale happily-ever-after, my true love, and my family. Until death did us part, I couldn't imagine what would ruin everything.

**No, I'm not doing the other two movies, but I might do some of my own stuff.**

*** - Beautiful (man)**

**** - Beautiful**

**Next up is Far Far Away Idol. Now PLEASE review. This was mostly my own stuff, so I'm dying to know what you think.**


	18. Chapter 18: Far Far Away Idol

**Welcome back! I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reviewing, Amber. And now, I present: Far Far Away Idol!**

We were staying in Far Far Away for a few more days. Shrek and Fiona, at least, would be going back to the swamp after our stay ended. At the moment, it looked like we'd all be going back with them.

I had kept my blue heels on, and I had decided to keep the title I'd made up. Hey, Nancy In Heels sounded good, especially when she was dating Puss In Boots.

Anyway, the evening after the ball (and my eighteenth birthday), Puss and Donkey were practicing the song again. "_Once you've had a taste of her, you'll never be the same!" _Donkey sang.

"_Yeah, she'll make you go insane!" _Puss sang back.

"_Upside, inside out!" _both of them chorused, starting to laugh.

Gingy laughed at them. "Give it up, guys, you're giving me a headache!"

"Oh, that's real sweet, Gingy." Donkey said sarcastically.  
"You ever heard of a ginger snap?" Puss said in a quiet, slightly threatening voice.

"C'mon, they're just having fun." Fiona told Gingy as she and Shrek came up. "They're really not that bad."

"Not that bad?"

"I will take that as a compliment, Princess."

That's when a new voice joined the conversation. "You should."

Fiona and Shrek turned around to face the man who had spoken. "Simon?"

"Because I rarely give one." said the famous critic, Simon Cowell.

"Easy, Simon." Shrek grinned. "The competition hasn't even started yet!"

"I can't help being judgmental." Simon protested. "It's who I am."

"Alrighty!" Shrek answered. "Who's up for a little contest, then?"

I jumped up and down. I knew I'd be scared stiff when I was onstage, but I really wanted to sing.

This was Far Far Away Idol, where people at home could vote. Shrek and Fiona judged with Simon. Before I got ready to pick my song, I asked Fiona to write down everything the judges said, because I really wanted to know how critical Simon would be.

Donkey was first up. His song, _Disco Inferno, _was for Dragon, obviously. She was right next to him.

"You're on fire, Donkey!" I heard Simon call. Dragon had blown a bit of fire at him, and it seemed to help.

"No, you're really on fire!" was the next thing I heard, from Shrek, and Donkey started screaming. OK, it just freaked him out when he realized his tail had a spark on it.

Pinocchio sang _Mr Roboto, _and Fiona recorded that Simon wanted him to "get real" and that Shrek found his performance "quite wooden".

Doris, one of the Ugly Stepsisters (who had hit on Charming once he'd regained consciousness at the ball) sang _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. _Fiona told me that Simon said Doris should get a makeover and singing lessons.

I was ready by the time the Big Bad Wolf (and the Three Pigs) sang _Hungry Like The Wolf. _The pigs freaked out after the Wolf sang that line. "Hungry? Sounds like dinnertime!"

"What?" the Wolf said, in his usual monotone. I heard Simon say he was hungry for talent, as I was sitting near the judges by that time.

Charming decided to sing _I'm Too Sexy. _Shrek and Fiona ended up making him fall down the trapdoor he was standing on.

The Three Blind Mice sang _I Can See Clearly Now. _Ironically, they bumped into each other. Simon blocked his ears.

Gingy wasn't good, even though he'd told off the others. He danced with Tinkerbell, the fairy, and sang _Sugar Sugar _in a high-pitched voice_._ I knew he wasn't going to win.

Well, Captain Hook's _Hooked On A Feeling _was worse, and Tinkerbell even went up to Simon to tell him what she thought.

Next, it was my turn. I stepped up to the mic, and began to sing shyly to the music "_I like your smile, I like your vibe, I like your sty-le,_

_But that's not why I love you._

_And I, I like the way, you're such a sta-ar._

_But that's not why I love you..." _It was Avril Lavigne's _I Love You. _Fiona told me that Simon's comment was "Song could have been better, singing could have been worse."

Puss had his turn after me. Tinkerbell cast a spell on his boots, so when he jumped out of them, they made any movement he made. He sang _These Boots Are Made For Walkin'. _I especially took note of the triple somersault at the end, when he finally landed back in the boots.

I stood near the judges, so I heard Simon remark "The cat's got my tongue...and possibly my vote." He sighed as he looked at the two empty chairs beside him. "Always breaking the rules."

Fiona and Shrek were onstage, now singing _What I Like About You._ Simon let a smile appear on his face. "Ogre-all impression...rather wonderful."

Personally, when I looked at the contestants, I eliminated Pinocchio, Captain Hook, Gingy, the Wolf, Charming, and Doris as winners. The Magic Mirror decided to mention Donkey last when it televised the show, so for most of the time all the contestants were being reminded, Donkey was yelling "Me, me! Pick me! Oh, oh, pick me!" until he finally stopped jumping up and down and settled for standing next to Shrek and Fiona (they couldn't really win, being judges, but they _were _good).

Surprisingly, I was wrong. Simon (and the other two) had a look at the votes from the people watching, and by just four votes, Doris won. She got 67 votes. I had actually gotten 58, which made me smile. But the runner-up who got the 63 just so happened to be Puss. Well, Simon had considered voting for him. Shrek and Fiona got 61, and Donkey got 57.

I glanced down at my heels when I heard that. "Maybe the boots are made for walking, but these heels are made for posing." I giggled. "I guess I'm just a copycat."

**Did you like that? Tell me in a review! The story's not over quite yet, though! I'm not doing the two movies now (not properly, anyway), or the specials, but that doesn't mean there's no fun to be had! Just review to find out what's next!**


	19. Epilogue: Nancy In Heels

**OK, well, thank you again for reviewing, AmberRedRose. So? What else to say except here's the new chapter!**

We had to stay in Far Far Away for longer than planned. Dad got sick, and died a few days later. Shrek would have been next in line, but he insisted that he couldn't be king (I think apart from the whole ogre thing, he would just hate the responsibility), so just before his death, Dad told him about the other heir. So Shrek sailed off to find the guy, Puss and Donkey in tow. It didn't help that Fiona had just found out she was pregnant and didn't get around to mentioning it until Shrek was too far away to hear her. I decided to stay with my sister this time, although I missed hanging out with the guys. But to tell the truth, it was nice to be one of the girls again.

We spent a few nervous days, hanging out with Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and...Rapunzel. Mom stuck around too, and Doris proved to be a good friend, although she and Cindy had problems. But Charming hadn't given up on getting the throne, and he even had Rapunzel backstabbing the rest of us by making her the future queen, with him as king. That got Fiona, Cindy, Sleeping Beauty, Snow, Doris, Mom and I locked up.

Once the guys came back, Puss and Donkey were caught and thrown in with us. It also got a little weird, since they had swapped bodies through magical complications and I could only tell which was which by their voices. They did eventually get turned back, but until then, we just had to deal with it. Anyway, Charming was defeated and crushed to death under a building, which was...pretty painful to see and know of, but it wasn't any worse than getting eaten by a dragon or being disintegrated into bubbles by your own magic. And he'd ended up being even worse than the Fairy Godmother, so I didn't really have to feel guilty. And Far Far Away had their new king, a cousin or something, called Arthur. He was a skinny little kid of about sixteen, but he seemed like he could be a really good king, given the chance he had. I got one chance to talk to him, and he seemed really nice, if a little shy. Plus, he was the one to turn all Charming's supporters (the fairytale villains) against him, by talking about how they can prove people wrong about their place in the fairytale world if they want to.

We did go back to the swamp after that. Well, after Fiona gave birth to three ogre triplets – boys called Farkel and Fergus, and a girl called Felicia. We all had to help out with them. But the babies adored all soft fluffy things, so Puss and I usually had to submit to hugs (if you can call them that). We hardly got a moment to ourselves when they were first born.

This got to Shrek as well. At the triplets' first birthday party, things went wrong. The cake was eaten by the three pigs, everyone was getting on everyone else's nerves, and one little kid kept ordering Shrek to "do the roar", which he finally did out of frustration. That is, the ogre roar which I'd never heard. Donkey confided later that Shrek had used the same roar to try and scare him away when they first met. Well, all Donkey said was that he told Shrek how scary it was and that was it, but I figured that Shrek had wanted to scare him off. Anyway, I'm not sure what happened next, because Shrek seemed fine after that. But then he told us the story of what had happened.

He'd been sent to an alternate universe. A guy called Rumpelstiltskin had cut a deal so he could have one day to be a regular ogre and be scary, but Rumpelstiltskin had taken the day he was born in return. If Shrek found true love's kiss before the day ended, the contract would expire. And just before he nearly disappeared from the world altogether, he was able to get true love's kiss from the alternate universe Fiona. They had to fall in love with each other all over again.

"Was I in that universe?" I asked in interest afterwards. "What was I like?"

"Nancy, I only saw you a few times. You were still human, but Fiona made sure you were around her all the time. Even though you weren't an ogre, you were still working towards the cause."

"Well, I can't really imagine us doing anything else, what with the Fairy Godmother and Charming not around!" the here-and-now Fiona said, tossing her ponytail.

"I don't really mind what happened." I smiled. "I have exactly what I want right here."

You could assume that we all lived happily ever after. But that's not how life goes. Everyone got bored or nostalgic sometimes. Well, it depended on what happened. Shrek still sometimes missed being a 'real' ogre, for example. Sometimes I missed having Fiona around all the time. But really, although not everyone was around all the time, it was like we were all a family, even including the fairytale friends of ours.

Fairytale endings always have a few things. The hero gets the girl, the villain dies, and everyone except the villain lives happily ever after. This really had all the fairytale elements we wanted. In fact, one of the routines of life was having the story of our lives told to the kids. And when I say kids, it meant kids from all three of us couples.

Yes, I had kids. Four kids, three girls and one boy, in fact. So that meant there were twelve kids, really. Shrek and Fiona's triplets, then there were Donkey and Dragon's five kids – who were named Bananas, Coco, Peanut, Eclair and Parfait – and mine and Puss' kittens. We named the girls Heather, Kristen and Alice, and the boy Jesse. Heather liked sparring with others and was very agile, just like Puss. She'd have made a great gladiator. Kristen was a bit shyer, but like me, she soon got chatty when she was given a push in the right direction, but she didn't really like having to stand up to her siblings. Alice was most aware of dress style, and had inherited the ability of making a cute face to disarm enemies and as a method of persuasion. All of us cats could do it, but Puss was the best, and Alice was going the same way. Jesse liked to make up stories, like me, but he'd inherited Puss' enjoyment of actually telling the stories (who did you think started telling the story of our lives to the kids?). I didn't really care whether someone heard my stories, but Jesse did.

Everyone in the family knew a lot about everyone else. I remember when I asked Puss about Kitty, at one point. I'd actually felt insecure when I discovered that she looked like me (black, white paws, although mine are grey). I relaxed a little when I realized I wasn't like her at all in personality and dress sense (she wore pointy boots and sometimes a mask), and I wasn't her twin. Plus, I had claws and she had hers removed before they met. (Was my reaction logical?) He's never accidentally called me by Kitty's name. That has to be a good sign, right?

Also, we've talked about our histories. Again, awkward, when I heard one of Puss' aliases was Frisky Two-Times, but I giggled and blushed when I heard another one was the Furry Lover ("I totally get that." I had laughed). Not that I said much at all, when he was talking about that. I loved hearing the true stories of my legendary partner's life before we met. When I told my own story, I simply told the bare facts, then moved on to telling some other story that I made up at times (I'd been locked up in a tower for most of my life, remember). "They are _so _much more interesting than my life, although they don't always quite match up to your thriller life story." I'd giggle. Then we'd both laugh.

I think I've changed a bit, too. I'm much less shy and conservative than I used to be. I don't look for trouble, but I kind of enjoy it, sometimes. But really, I think that's mostly because of the adventures I've been through, as well as my falling for someone who gets a thrill out of danger. Don't get me wrong, I'm still shy around new people, but you can't have a family like mine and not like adventure.

Well, I guess that is the story of my life. It's not perfect, but since when is anything perfect? I have a great family, good friends, and my own fairytale ending. I'm Nancy In Heels, and I'm loving my life!

**Well, that's the end. Now, please, just a few little reviews? PLEASE?**


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